10 things your Mum never told you
…and you won’t truly know until you’re a parent yourself.
What is motherhood if not a stone caught in the middle of the toughest wildest storms, a rock under the strongest burning sun and washed by the longest rains. But it stands there proud and sturdy, getting cracked by the eroding waters and dusty under the wildest winds, yet none seems to get to its diamond core.
There are 10 things you might have consciously or unconsciously witnessed yourself throughout your child or adulthood yet your mum never told you. Because despite bad winds and scary storms, her heart empowered her tenacious spirit with strength and hopes so you can make the best of life.
1. Motherhood doesn’t come in stages.
It comes all of a sudden, throwing her into the unknown, covering her heart in blissful excitement and her brain in a webb of worries, expectations and plans making drive. Talking to most people about both its perks and challenges is like talking about the weather, they will look at her, sympathise for a split second and move on. But she will stay right here, mountain-movingly determined to keep you safe, healthy and happy.
2. Since your arrival sleep has never been the same.
She’s the queen of countless sleepless nights of colics, fever, tears, teething and hundreds of monster nightmares. She never left her throne despite her levels of deserted energy but stood there with you to keep you warm and safe, praying, singing, rocking you while hoping you’d both catch a wink of sleep until the crack of dawn.
3. Your pain is her pain.
She is feeling double the pain of your bruised knees and scratches or the torment of that first pulled out tooth, she’s feeling twice harder the heartbreaking agony of your first love break up. Her knees get numb when incertitude may strike until she knows you’re safe and sound, but her heart will always skip a beat when you’re unreachable far out.
4. Fighting guilt is a daily business.
When sleeping, when eating, when driving, when breathing. Because she believes you deserve the best and there may be more that she could give, but right now it’s all she could figure out that she could possibly offer. Because sometimes she has to put you down from her protecting arms and give you away to strangers with toys and fun activities to keep you entertained until she comes back from work..
5. Happiness is made of unspoken words.
Because no one will be more moved than her soul and her eyes watching your tiny sole prints on the beach sand after tens of hours of planning a first holiday around her child’s best interests. Because no louder shouting voice will ever intimidate her, but her baby’s cry will melt her heart. Because she knows she’s comfort. That’s happiness to her she can’t put into words.
6. Your childhood is her hardest learning curve.
Working through tantrums, cleaning, working, researching, creating solutions to unknown problems, multitasking – it’s all part of a game she knows she can’t afford to lose. She has to win it all for you and your future.
7. She often doubts herself.
Because she’s new at this motherhood business, she has not been trained, she has no supervisor, but a clear target: to raise you well. Although her instincts are sharpest when caring for her tiny human and she knows she has one full pressing duty: protecting you from everything and everyone not good for you.
8. She knows she’s not alone.
Because she has you – her world. Although there’s no room for shortcuts or compromises when it comes to you, she’s trying hard to work things out with everyone around you two and get best role models around you. She knows she has to guide you towards choosing quality over quantity and show you how to grow up caring for the other.
9. Patience is a mother’s virtue.
There will be times when rocking, hugging, breastfeeding, singing, changing, bathing or feeding won’t feel like she’s doing enough for you, her crying baby. Your tantrums are just harsh challenges to test her limits, but she knows it’s the patience ingredient she has to wisely use in this successfully raising children recipe so, someday, you become a confident, independent and mentally praiseworthy individual.
10. Hope is her sharpest tool.
She sincerely hopes that despite her mistakes along the way or her previous flows and insufficient means, you become a good citizen, a sharer and eventually a good mother or father figure yourself. And that’s her job and dream…
Have I missed anything?