7 things your childless friends don’t like about you since you’ve become a  mum

Your old friends & the new you – 7 things they may not like about you right now

Without a doubt, becoming a mum is the biggest change we may experience throughout the entire lifetime. Starting gradually with funny pregnancy mood swings to embracing a new bra size number, taking daily trips to the bathroom scale hoping for a better result in magically melting pounds and losing count on sleepless endless nights, then yes, being a new mum is all about the over joy and excitement…Your family may be a huge help while you are figuring this chaotic motherhood thing out, but some of your friends who although may be sort of sympathetic, they may still throw a judging eye on the new you. Here’s some of the things they may not always be crazy about…

1. Your flats, your messy hair bun and your baggy blouses    Let’s be honest, we are not all Victoria Beckham 24/7! And I’m sure even Posh Spice (despite all help she can afford) may still have few ludicrous baby hard days stories when her effortlessly good looks go out of the window. Still there will always be those friends who don’t accept easily your sudden change from the office highest hills to the flattest going-to-the-park-pushing-a-buggy-with-a-baby shoes. In the mood for some hair styling after 10 feeding sessions throughout last night? Maybe not, but try explaining this to the stubborn ones…

1. Your new tiny human accessory Taking the baby everytime and everywhere is compulsory for some of us. Some of your friends may tolerate it once or twice but when they see this may become a habit they will start inviting you less and less usually bringing excuses such as: ‘oh, I didn’t think the place was too baby friendly’ (a ground floor restaurant with baby facilities, really?) or ‘there’s so much booze around I thought it would be hard for you not to be tempted’ (I know I’m breastfeeding, but with so much alcohol in the bar did they run out of orange juice too?) or ‘I thought you were busy with your kid’. Well, let us decide on that, would you?

2. Change your Facebook page into a baby albumOk, I’m guilty guilty guilty on this….It’d hard not to post the new gimmicks of your little one or the new faces you find irresistible and before you know it you start disappearing from the pictures while the baby takes over. There will be people who will love watching them grow, but there will always be the critics who will tell you off (out loud or through subtle irony) for getting their new feeds section sunk into your baby’s millions of snapshots.

3. Pretending to pay attentionOne eye on the baby who just started walking and gives you the chills with every clumsy step on concrete floors and one eye on your friend who’s very annoyed with your short answers of ‘aha’ and ‘sure’ to questions like ‘what do you think I should wear on my new date tonight’? The truth is you couldn’t care less when watching your toddler smacking his head against a wall while trying to climb over a pile of toys…Oh, choices we have to make sometimes 🙂

4. Sharing is not always caring…Becoming a mother means going through a roller coaster of both physical and emotional changes, and lots of them! But you are now brave enough to recall them and share these memories with some of your female curious childless friends who are dying to know how you coped with labour pains, was it as bad as they say it is, how did you overcome strange food cravings, what marks had  pregnancy left on you etc. You obviously are happy talking about the excruciating pain which you forgot the moment you held your baby for the first time but without realising you start sharing a little bit too much. Keep the answers simple, not everyone is ready and willing to listen to detailed stories about your episiotomy, placenta delivery, don’t spend half an hour talking about what baby ate last night or how much he or she dislikes carrots etc.

5. Baby phone chats, not fun for everyone  There’s no prouder mother or father who wouldn’t have put their baby on the phone at least once. But while it’s a lot of fun for us, mums, it may not be so entertaining for your friend at the other end of the call. I’d say keep it in the family and rather have the grandparents or aunties making silly voices for the toddler on the phone. 

6. Allowing your child to scream his lungs outThere are toddlers and there are tantrums you can’t fight. You can’t tell a baby off and you can’t explain to him or her how they should behave in public spaces. While trying to remain cool as they cry their heart out in the middle of your restaurant lunch catch up with your friend or hysterically start shouting out at the seight of your gadgets, your slightly embarrassed friend believes you’re either getting used the high decibels and you don’t care as much anymore or you simply encourage this outrageous behaviour while spoiling your children. It’s not really a fair conclusion, but don’t worry, watch their reactions when they get their own bundles 😉

7. Breastfeeding in public     Yes, certain people including some of your friends understand you have to do it but they may feel embarrassed being next to you when a nipple might get exposed by an eager hungry toddler. How many times have I been asked by close friends if I’m positively sure I want to do this at the table without thinking the only alternative remains the bathroom and really, I don’t believe this is where I’d like my son to have lunch…

Bottom line, you should do whatever makes you happy and comfortable and don’t worry if not everyone gets you, some will have time to come around…

Share your thoughts about challenges you go through during this magical period called motherhood 🙂

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