We all, either new or experienced mothers, would pretty much wish that in the New Year we better ourself when it comes to this tough job called motherhood, being able to successfully multitask our family’s increasingly long list of responsibilities and face the developing little scary personalities (that can go from shy fairies to slightly spooky monsters in seconds), but in fact what I, personally truly wish for is a few secret things which may as well come from the imagination of the creators of my toddler’s nursery books or from my most hidden needs…
Most of the things I’m listing below are on my very own list, yet when asking mums around me what’s on theirs, their thoughts were pretty much almost the same. A wine tap and a trip to the bathroom without a curious audience just to name a few…
Here it goes…
1. A unicorn
A real one. For the tiny humans. Ideally to replace that occasional screening time with story and play time as techlology can be good and bad, yet we all feel guilty about letting our kids checking on Apple apps for more than we should. I know I do. So a flying pony could definately make them forget about all consoles and iPads and iPhones…
2. A hot cuppa
Hot, not lukewarm, not tepid, not cold, not old. HOT. Without being interrupted ten times…
3. This tummy.
If Santa wasn’t able to bring me new abs, I hope at least the New Year will be more generous…
4. An uninterrupted seep, occasional power naps or snoozing moments
Or if this seems too much for the ungrateful mum of 3 children (how dares she be tired around these lovely bundles?), we could all settle for at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. In my case, 4 hours and no toddler kicking ribs or baby waking up every 40 minutes would be a Christmas miracle…
5. My old bathroom time
Alone. Without an audience. Without splashes, bubbles or other water experiments. Just me, having my five minutes of uninterrupted meditation (‘uninterrupted’ is a key word for mums).
6. My pre-pregnancy brain back. So I could remember things again
I would very much like to remember those conversations I have with people during my zombie moments when I feel I’m on cruise control. Or where I left they keys. Or stop asking where my phone is while I’m holding it.
7. Time to enjoy the little things
Without loosing myself into emails and Facebook stalking on all other people showing off their happy moments. An occasional break from technology, work and worries…
8. Smarter gadgets. For house cleaning
Don’t we just love our husbands who often come home and show off cool (rather useless if you ask me) gadgets that they seem to enjoy so much? How cool would it be if one day they bring home a new tablet that cleans the carpet at the touch of its screen? That would help me tick all boxes from the ‘Good wife’ manual.
9. Another pair of magic hands
In case they don’t show up soon enough with the smart gadget to clean your house…Because your hands are already magic hands cleaning, wiping, writing, typing, changing nappies, cleaning, wiping, cleaning, dusting, hugging, brushing, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, working. But they don’t do the trick when it comes to other motherhoody challenges, so yes, another pair of magic hands would be so very welcomed…
10. A handsome a la Ryan Gosling elf
To tell the children off nicely when they misbehave and they choose not to hear me. To make me a cup of tea when I have no energy left. To capture the funny poses of the naughty toddler I always miss because I don’t remember where the phone is. To help me look for my keys when I can’t find them. To tell me I’m pretty.
11. A calorie melter for my size 8 new wardrobe
While I don’t want to give up my slice of occasional cheesecake and Belgian chocolate rice cakes. Or the truffles, candy, biscuits and icecream the toddler is so not allowed to touch. Because they are all mine and adults can’t run without the sugar fuel.
12. A cooking book with magic recipes
That still taste like the full fat cheesecake I just mentioned…
13. A wine tap
I didn’t actually put this on my list as I’m a fan of all things sweet tooth related and I’ll always choose a box of chocolates over a glass of wine (which I do do very often), but I know how therapeutic wine can be for most people. Yes, lots of mums asked me to add this on their behalf!
14. A massage every now and then.
This could be better than the unicorn. Almost as good as the cheesecake.
15. £1 for each social media stalking session on my friends
If Mark Zuckerberg actually paid me for all the Facebook sessions I tend to do during the day while uploading pictures with the tiny humans, liking and commenting on all other mums’ cool snapshots of their bundles’ childhood, tiny pets and inspirational pins, I’d be so very rich right now…But life doesn’t work like this, does it? 😉
16. One well deserved day of holiday
I love family holidays (which always end up in holidaying for them and days of slavery for us, mums) so I’d truly appreciate one day for myself and my thoughts. With a cool view. And fresh air. And margaritas. Ok, go on, throw in a few slices of cheesecake too, I’m on holiday…
17. 10 perfectly painted fingers and toes for more than 5 seconds
18. Happy tiny humans.
This is on top of the list of all mums yet number 18 because I needed a unicorn and an elf to help me out work better on their happiness…
19. Less Nurofen & Paracetamol.
And less trips to Mr GP and hospitals. Health is priceless.
20. More time for those cool people who lift up my spirit.
21. A new bag.
22. A few cool pairs of shoes to match the bag.
23. ‘Friends’ the movie
24. That the elf is my husband.
25. All cheesy things…