When a woman is planning to get married, she tends to go through 3 stages: from shy excitement to excessive happiness; from millions of mental plans to shouting out loud one can’t go through it all; from loving the one who gifted you with the ring (and who most likely still has to sacrifice his next 12 salaries) to frowning every time he innocently makes wedding jokes. No, grooms are not allowed any wedding jokes, a bride’s life is hard enough when having to overanalyse all other unimportant wedding related issues.
Now enters toddler. Planning a wedding around one of these wee troublemakers is hard work. Here goes my 7 stages journey from motherhood to bridehood:
1. The occasional social doubt.
Should we really, really do this? I mean, here we are, the three of us, already a family, do we actually need some papers confirming a union we already made when we decided to move in together? Wait, I meant when we created a human together?
2. Happiness. Thrill. Excitement.
Later on the kid won’t need to explain to his school buddies why his parents are not married (my occasional guilt feeling as the unmarried one among a gang of mums who look back to their wedding day and retell the story everytime a bridal magazine or white dress comes up the conversation at the school run).
3. Financial reluctance and selfishness.
Should we be spending a ridiculously amount of money on an extremely expensive party? Are we still good parents? Shouldn’t we top up the college fund account instead? Still trying to figure this one out, yet I’m thinking, I’m only planning to do this just once, wouldn’t have time for a second round..
4. Would I still fit THE dress?
Without thousands of fittings and frustrating alterations? I mean, who has now time for regular sessions of yoga and jogging in between chasing toddlers and feeding them, when sleep sounds like a much better idea?
5. Would I have time to plan it all?
The answer is NO, not without help, I am now smart enough to know this. Trying on dresses when having a toddler looks pretty much like this:
6. Procrastinating
There’s always something more important coming up which makes me postpone wedding plans, emails and phone calls. There’s always a toddler emergency which makes me jumpy and up my feet, yet confirming locations and taking wedding dress measurements are now second priorities.
7. Get your camera ready
The moment when you realise the tiny human will be in the pictures on what is supposed to be the most beautiful day of your life (which I’m sure won’t top his birth day bliss, but hopefully it will be close enough). I do love the thought of having him immortalised in the wedding photo albums, so alright, let’s do this.
I believe there are a few good reasons why women should try and get married before motherhood kicks in. But there are a million reasons why mothers should still do it once tiny toes and fingers mark your existence…Embrace them all, note to myself…
Had a wonderful experience trying on wedding dresses at the beautiful Les Trois Soeurs in Canary Wharf (I am highly recommending the bridal shop for the great customer service skills of lovely Jess, not to mention the gourgeous designer gowns and accessories I could not get enough of) .
Aly
AllMumsTalk
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