Or better said: I’m going on a mini guilt holiday. Aka grocery shopping. Aka my 5 seconds of fame…
Tangled hair, boyfriend jeans and an awfully loose gargantuous sweater. Obviously braless too (to complete the freedom experience). Unmatching colours of the apparel items, totally inexistent makeup. That is, dear reader, the definition of an erratic but ecstatic mombie going shopping ON HER OWN for the first time in a very very veeeery long time. No buggy, no ‘tantrumous’ toddlers, just myself strolling down the street as light as a feather. Not shopping for magical things to improve my awfully altered tired image, but for food to feed them all. Since the little human’s arrival a few good months ago, dinner is apparently a healthy routine which can’t be randomly skipped. There go the fun adult days when living out of a maxi crisps bag & tons of ice-cream…Now there’s the miracle of breastfeeding which makes you hungry 24/7 and darn, ice-cream is not an option.
I can’t though remember when it was the last time to carry shopping bags using my very own two hands, after getting them busy with buggy pushing tasks which (so in love with the one that has kindly been carrying all the shopping for the entire house for almost two years, anything and everything from groceries to mini furniture and mountains of nappy bags).
Going back on the story, while I was trying to make the most of my ‘mini holiday’, I discovered a guilt feeling tingling in the corner of my mind. This made me instantly and pretty much unconsciously reach for the phone, dial the tiny human’s father to put him on the phone. I suddenly became aware of shoppers’ funny gaze as I was acting like a crazy lady kissing repeatedly a phone in order to reassure my mini version that I was hurrying back home (using a very high pitched voice while going down the same supermarket aisle over and over again).
Then there was this hand tapping vaguely on my shoulder followed by: ‘Excuse me, I think I know you, aren’t you that mum writing on Allmumstalk?’ There went an awkward silence. I was utterly & forever speechless. Also, suddenly fully aware once again of my tangled hair. Oh God, there was no makeup. I was braless!! And got rainbow coloured clothes. Why did I choose to go ‘on holiday’ that very day??! I felt pretty much like a scarecrow and so not the Jill Smokley good scary mommy type. I initially wanted to answer ‘who did you say, Allmumstalk? Oh no, you got the wrong person’ then quickly run and never look back. But to refuse myself 5 precious seconds of fame, what, was I nuts??! So I eventually replied while having a very uncomfortable grin on my face and totally trying to remember in the same time if I managed to brush my teeth before I left home this morning: ‘oh yes, that’s indeed my project for cool mums and bumps, have you heard of it?’. She then kept staring at me for a few more seconds, a bit puzzled as if ‘didn’t I just mention that’? Of course, dumbass, she has heard of you, she just said it while asking for your confirmation! I wanted to ask her questions of how and when and how, which was her favourite post?! But then I got this crazy thought that the more time I spent with her, the more she would have involuntarily got to analyse all my face imperfections not even makeup could’ve successfully partially mask (but a good uninterrupted night’s sleep!)
Oh, the sadness on my face at the thought I wouldn’t match the online version to this crazy sleep deprived real self, so I’ve blamed my baby brain instead (as I usually do every time I find myself in a tricky corner) and walked away. So attention, cool mums approaching me in the future, you could also may have to watch me speak further totally crazy unspontaneous nonsense who most likely will ruin all the photoshopped Allmumstalk images you may have in your head. You may find a discrepancy between my pretty red dresses of that last photoshoot I had with my bubbly toddler poor Ania worked so hard to take…
Photo credit: Anna Pawleta Photography
So this is how I took my sleepy head on a speedy journey back home to my tiny human. Tangled hair, boyfriend jeans and an awfully loose gargantuous sweater…Braless. Feeling proud I’ve been recognised. Feeling hideous. But free. Oh well…You can’t have it all…
Doesn’t it seem we tend to bump into all these people we know even when we go out just for a quick run obviously?
If thirsty for more creative fun ways to enjoy motherhood and its perks, follow Allmumstalk Facebook page or you can get lots of colourful ideas from my Instagram #allmumstalk (I’m such an Instagram junkie!). Cool mums tweet, so throw at me your tips if braver (#allmumstalkhere)! 😉
Motherhood can be beautifully challenging yet tough. Good news, we’re all in this together!