Well done, brave one! You’ve survived another weekend of tantrum terror, mood swings, undecided little minds and almost inexistent sleep. It’s rather easy to forget about your even most basic needs while sinking deeper into others’. I am myself in one those spots that you could easily call hot mess parenting. I’ve got days when everything is upside down and I seem to have completley lost the old carefree version of myself. Every day there’s a test I already feel I’m failing, a shower less than planned, a delusive ‘treat’ made of the most refined evil sugars (as when it comes to the dangeorus chocolate – sleepless nights mix, resistance becomes futile!), a holiday minus to the expectations, and full procrastinating process is at its best…
It’s now high time for you to work a little harder on your day dreams (a longer bathroom break with less audience, the nap you skipped, improve the circle situation around your darling eyes etc) so schedule yourself for a little bit of happiness. Some days of pure roughness while rushing down the street to pick up your offsprings before the last member of nursery staff is about to leave the premises are still needed to make you not take for granted these early days of motherhood, so here’s what I planned to do with myself in order to overcome the motherhoody madness.
Work it from the outside
Don’t take this a shallow piece of advice! Start the mood change from the outside when the inside seems such an unstable place to start fixing. Change your humour with colours and patterns, stripes and dazzling shoes you’d never dare to wear to the corner supermarket. Many think motherhood might be the closest synonym to leggings, flats and messy buns, but a fancy pair of high heels is sometimes mandatory for that boost of confidence you might have lost along the way while gaining lovely third trimester pregnancy stones. I find shoes to be the most useless wardrobe purchase after you join the motherhood cruise ship (as social gatherings require at least a certain minimal grooming effort you can hardly afford these days). The sleep is little, the days are long, the tiny humans’ soles are fast, the tasks are many. Yet pretty dainty pairs of shoes can change your day faster than a glass of red early in the afternoon…
Parenting is the trickiest business (I wish my parents didn’t make it look so effortlessly along all these years!). It requires dedication, patience, and often lots of empty calories to deal with the occasional chaos. Once a tiny human steps in, the concept of ‘passing time’ changes. The previous enjoyable life pauses called cuppa, bathroom and holiday breaks are soon to be forgotten. Yet, despite the tiredness, clumsiness and sporadic frustration, there are the moments when you forget the world is spinning and focus on the happiness your womb created. You take a break from time and space and stare at those miracles. Then you put them on aside and indulge yourself to a good cup of latte (we need more than caffeine, we need matcha!), a good book, a break from your phone or hook yourself up to a good movie (maybe not the tearjerker You Before Me unless you’re ready for some serious bonding with your box of tissues!). Whatever you choose, do it often, do it regularly and when I forget to do it myself, remind me too!
Embrace the happy-mess
Spontaneous unconditional love and affection is what you provide all day to your offsprings. Picking up toys and wiping up mess and bumps is what keeps you busy more than you’d like to admit to anyone around you. Embrace it! Maybe don’t dance around all day while mopping on La Vita e Bella soundtracks, but let the dishes in the sink for later. There’s really no rush for them to get cleaned. Pour yourself a glass, unwind (maybe don’t really start the day like this).
Help yourself and ask for help
Even when you don’t ask for it, you should take any available help there is available for you. Super women don’t really exist, but there are super mums joggling around tasks because they know when and how to accept help. Be one of them.
Embrace each battle’s victory
Just fixed a broken toy? Managed to mop the floor during a 20 minute toddler’s nap? You even combed your hair today?! Well done you, be happy for these little life treats which come as a result of huge efforts, don’t let anyone and anything wipe away the accomplishment smile from your face.
Thanks again to the coolest London mum and photographer, Anna Pawleta Photography
and to Kurt Geiger for the ‘make me feel tall and bold’ sandals and clutch (which I’m still to decide if it’s an actual clutch or iPhone case!)
Join a hot mess mums’ club!
or AllMumsTalk. You’re definitely not alone in this!
Always make time for yourself
Thanks to my beautiful model, Julia, for showcasing her Mini KG collection Dolce & Gabbana Mia Ballerina by Kurt Geiger.